Monday, January 10, 2011

Wow....and not in a good way

So...Anonymous left a post on my last blog.  I really liked this part (and I am typing this snarky):  "And that's why you are continually reincarnated. Welcome to the Matrix."


So...is this "Matrix" the movie, the hair care products, plural matrices, or less commonly matrixes, IT services, real estate, fitness, a car, or an anti-terrorist surveillance system? 

I think I want to come back as a squirrel named Steve.  Or an egret.  Or a cute little monkey.  No!!  A cat.  I will come back as a cat and sleep most of the day and play with toys and capture imaginary creatures and throw up on the floor and get lots of love.

I love this from the Borowitz Report:

Fox News Warns That Without Angry Rhetoric It Will Have 24 Hours to Fill Would Create ‘Giant Hole’ in Program Schedule

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Calls for a reduction in violent political rhetoric have plunged the Fox News Channel into chaos, with a Fox spokesperson warning today that such a move “would leave us with 24 hours to fill.”

“Let’s not underestimate the giant hole this would create,” said spokesperson Carol Foyler. “Fox without violent rhetoric would be like The Weather Channel without maps.”

Ms. Foyler said Fox was preparing for a “worst-case scenario” in which it was pressured to air responsible statements in place of its current programming: “If it comes to that, God forbid, we’ll just air 24 hours of ‘24’.”

In contrast with Ms. Foyler’s alarmed comments, Fox host Glenn Beck took the news of a possible programming change in stride: “If I’m kicked off the air, I’ll return to my first love: standing in the back of crowded theaters and yelling, ‘Fire.’”

But Fox commentator Sarah Palin was less enthusiastic about the new call for tempered rhetoric: “For the first time in my life I don’t have anything to write on my hand.”

In other cable news developments, CNN confirmed that it was considering dropping Kathleen Parker from its “Parker Spitzer” program, but said it had balked at Elliot Spitzer’s suggestion of “a different woman every night."

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